- Published: Tuesday, December 01, 2009
- Written by Scott Meadow
This is the time of year when we're all looking for something new and exciting to pile on our nearly maxed credit cards. Many of you, I'm sure, are eyeing various high-tech devices, such as iPods, TiVos, or even personal computers, especially Windows PCs. You are suckers. Particularly you; I'm talking to you specifically. You are a sucker. Computers are worthless and will only ruin your life like they've ruined everyone else's.
I'm not saying this for my own selfish gain: I am not a "Mac" guy and, in fact, I work in the industry, so this is not helping me personally at all. Even more accurately, you're reading this now thanks to many advanced technologies, which are also crap. You think they're good, but they're worthless. You've been sold a bill of goods, chumply.
You may think I'm crazy, but hear me out. See I came to this realization last night standing in line at OfficeMax, which is probably the only time OfficeMax has ever been the cause of anything inspiring in its entire dreary history. Nobody actually wants to go to OfficeMax, you have to go there. Last night, I had to go because our printer ran out of toner, and luckily for me Canon makes the only printers on the planet that nobody can refill for you cheaply. So off I go to drop $80 on a new cartridge. Ho ho ho.