MASS. - NFL officials today disclosed that "several large boxes" of "animal tranquilizer darts" were found at the home of Patriot's QB Tom Brady, as well as other teammates, which "seem a likley match" to those found protroding from the backs, arms and legs of Indianapolis Colts players last week.
"We therefore intend to discuss the matter, quite seriously with Mr. Brady," the NFL Official said. "Sometime in May or potentially October."
The Patriot's quaterback defended himself in his own hastily prepared press-conference. "These allegations are completely baseless and without merit," Brady said. "It's insane that one could get such a huge quantity of horse tranquilizers across state lines without an enormous network of helpers and co-conspirators."
"Nobody said they were horse tranquilizers," one reporter noted. Brady cut the rest of the conference short.