IRREVERENT News

NEW YORK - In a stunning announcement, five prominent leaders of the National Organization of Women (NOW) resigned today after being outed as "male" by their families. NOW national president Laura Eden publicly supported the resignations.  "It is not a prerequisite to be female in order to support [NOW]," Eden explained.  "It is, however, a requirement to be truthful about your genitalia and how that genitalia is typically used, especially in leadership positions within our organization."

[inset side="right" title=""]"I hope now it's obvious what an amazingly selfish lover you were for the five years we lived together." - Sandra "Bill" Winnesoka[/inset]This theme follows high-profile resignations within the National Gay Alliance due to "unacceptable levels of heterosexuality," namely outspoken California regional NGA president Hal Simmons.  Simmons was forced to resign after "heterosexual leaning pictures" were found on his computer from the 2015 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.  Simmons continues to maintain the downloaded photographs were "planted."

At least one of the outed NOW leaders, Sandra Winnesoka, a.k.a. Bill Winnesoka, expressed his regret over the way events unfolded, but remained steadfast in support of NOW's overall mission.  "My deepest regret is that this entire ordeal has the potential to damage NOW, an organization I have devoted nearly 15 years of my life to.  I want to apologize to anyone who I may have hurt professionally or personally, in particular my former lesbian lover Tammy.  Tammy, the truth is now out in the open.  However, I hope now it's obvious what an amazingly selfish lover you were for the five years we lived together."