National Organization of Amnesiac Women Award Rush Limbaugh Twice


WASHINGTON - Controversial talk show host Rush Limbaugh was honored by the NOAW at a gala celebration yesterday and this evening.

"It's a rare opportunity that a women's group of any kind offers me any sort of award or honor, so I thought I should take it," said Limbaugh."Although we may not agree with his stance on women's rights," said NOAW national spokeswoman Mina Devine, "we ahh.. Well, yes. Wait who are you?"

Previous recipients of the prestigious National Achievement award include former Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi (2001, 1999, 1989), local area businesswoman Natille Ó Fionnagáin (2007, 2008, 2009), and the guy who does Ms. Devine's plumbing Matt Siskel, who won the annual award eight times in 2010.

"I don't know why they gave me that award," admitted Siskel. Siskel had just finished unclogging Ms. Devine's toilet when she asked him to attend the award ceremony in April 2010, and was "shocked" when he realized an actual award would be presented to him. "I didn't do anything for chicks or anything to get an award like that," Siskel said. "A few were pretty hot at the dinner though."

The event at the St. Regis hotel's Astor Ballroom was attended by over 300 people yesterday and slightly more today. NOAW event organizers told us (a few times) that the annual awards ceremony was hosted by Margot Kidder, who won her own NOAW Lifetime Achievement award in 1981 and again in 1988, 1991 and 1993. A representative for Mrs. Kidder got wide-eyed and threw a jar of olives at us before scampering away to avoid eye contact.

Mr. Limbaugh at first rejected the invitation but, when it was re-offered the following day, he changed his mind and attended both ceremonies. "It's a rare opportunity that a women's group of any kind offers me any sort of award or honor, so I thought I should take it," said Limbaugh. "They're beautiful awards too, and the drinks were free. Plus if I score with any of these chicks, they won't remember anyway. How great is that?"