NEW YORK - A woman captured this morning in several disheveled, candid street shots was ultimately determined to be "absolutely nobody famous," after being sold to the tabloids.

"She looked so dressed down, so ratty and nondescript, it had to be deliberate," said Jack Jenkins, a freelance photographer who took the pictures this morning.  "But it turns out she was just an ordinary slob walking to Trader Joe's that looked like hell."

The woman has since been identified as Karen Watts, 35, a freelance architect and single mother, who had run out of coffee and was, in fact, heading to a nearby Starbucks. "I didn't even see this guy," Watts said, referring to Jenkins.

Jim "Jimmy" Jameson, photo editor for The New Daily News, called the photos "exactly the kinda crap you'd expect an Amal Clooney, Julia Roberts, or Taylor Swift to pull."  "It was hard to tell who it was, but I figured buy them quick before some other rag has it," Jameson explained.  "Later we realized that it really was nobody and fed them to the shredder."

Wall Street, like everyone else in the world, ignored the news completely, instead focusing on a particularly juicy IPO it'd been keeping its eyes on lately.  After losing its shirt in an unexpected late morning sell-off, the Street bellied up to the afternoon trading session full of vengeance, tearing pharma, defense, and consumer electronic stocks a brand new one before knocking off early for drinks.