Special Drivel

  • NASA Admits ‘The Math Was Very Hard’ in Latest Satellite Explosion

    Today NASA spokesman Jim Jameson told reporters, during a hastily prepared press conference, that “the math… was much, much harder than we theorized” as he discussed the latest of seven satellite explosions, costing nearly $3.1 billion. Read More +
  • Pope Francis Gives Hope to Refugees, Describes ‘Extreme Heavenly Vetting’ on ‘Lutherans’

    Today Pope Francis told the assembled poor and displaced that god "holds you in his great hands" and would "try His very best to do good things for you, despite putting you through endless misery, including poverty, famine, and death. Read More +
  • President Rates His First Few Weeks as 'Excellent,' America 'God**mn Lucky' to Have Him

    President Donald Trump praised himself today for doing an "excellent" job during his first month in office, said "America, you are god**mn lucky to have me," and commented on "Koala Lemur" [sic] [Kuala Lumpur] "where those little bears are, very cute." Read More +
  • Trump Tweets "So-called CIA evidence" of Russian Ties

    WASHINGTON - Early this morning President Trump tweeted what he claimed was the "evidence" that the C.I.A. presented him showing his administration's ties to Russian intelligence operatives, in the form of two hastily doctored photographs with the President's name clearly visible in the image properties. Read More +
  • New 'Bowling Green Massacre' Movie Greenlit by Fox

    Twentieth-Century Fox announced today that it was greenlighting a film about the infamously nonexistent Bowling Green Massacre, where two Iranian nationals failed to blow up dozens of people using improvised exploding devices in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Read More +
  • Trump Unveils New ‘Best President Ever’ Commemorative Coin

    WASHINGTON – Tweeting from the Oval Office today, President Trump announced the immediate sale of his “Best President Ever” commemorative coin. Profits will be donated to the Donald J. Trump Foundation. Read More +
  • Pitching History, One Show At A Time

    An ambitious television writer pitches a newly established History channel executive on some innovative programming that has nothing to do with history. Read More +
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Currently Awesome

Change the Law

You want to know why the Tea Party frustrates me so much? Because while they're so busy worrying about taxes, Obama's birth certificate, and helping people get medical care, a bunch of right bastards are lifting their wallets and they don't even notice. Think I'm wrong? Peep this my peeps and get a little puppet based civics lesson.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A Few Highlights

  • Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like

    Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas… Read More +

  • Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T.

    MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center.

    It's… Read More +

  • Trump Announces Support for "Extraterrestrial Abductions"

    (ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions,"… Read More +

  • FBI: Old Time Criminals Much More Dapper Than Today

    WASHINGTON - The FBI today unveiled the results of its five year, $22 million study into early twentieth century criminals,… Read More +

  • 5 Surefire Ways to Move Ahead at Work

    The internet is littered with successful corporate psychopaths with great teeth and substantial jawlines oozing to tell you how to… Read More +

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