Man Shocked That His Fantasy Football Success Didn’t Get Him Laid On First Date
- Published on Tuesday, 06 March 2012 06:00
- Written by Brian DiMaio
ARLINGTON, VA - When Kyle “Lombardi” Pennington, 25, first made a date with Charlene Davidson, he said he thought she was into sports. The two had met on Match.com, and in their texts and e-mail exchanges, she seemed “pretty cool and could talk some fantasy football, at least enough to hold a decent conversation,” Pennington said.
But when the two met up last Friday night for their first official date, Pennington said she wasn’t at all like she came across in her e-mails.
“She was totally different than she was online,” Pennington said. “I immediately started telling her about my draft preparation, about how most a------- only spend the week or two leading up to their draft reading magazines or s--- online. But any champion will tell you, if you’re serious, you have to read stuff all year round about players and teams. That’s the first step in winning championships. Are you writing this down, bro?”
Pennington said he brought his league championship trophy on their date, which he’d “won four out of the last five years. That by itself should have gotten me (to third base).”
But to Pennington’s chagrin, Davidson did not seem receptive to his attempts to tell her how important the second running back you draft is, or how successful he’d been, winning championships with players ranging from Chris Johnson to Adrian Peterson to Arian Foster.
“She completely didn’t care. She kept changing the subject on me. All she wanted to talk about was Occupy Wall Street, and her family and s--- like that,” Pennington said. “What the f--- do I care about that?”
And despite Davidson being “pretty hot, like an eight,” Pennington said the date ended earlier than he planned, and he wasn’t sure he’d waste another Friday night at Applebee’s with her.
“Let’s just say the night didn’t exactly end the way I thought it would,” Pennington said, clearly agitated. “It was like I’m knocking on the door with it first and goal at the one and then Maurice Jones-Drew fumbles the ball. Literally. It was literally just like that. It sucked.”
Photo: Flickr/Chimpanz APe