INVERNESS, SCOTLAND — Today, six researchers who refer to themselves as "crypto-zoologists" declared their eighteen-month investigation to uncover the Loch Ness monster "officially and permanently over," and their results "nothing short of
...TEHRAN/WASHINGTON — The Strait of Hormuz, through which roughly one-fifth of the world's petroleum supply transits daily and upon which the global economy depends with the desperation of a junkie on Tuesday morning, has turned a vivid, almost
...WASHINGTON — The State Department on Thursday released a 14-page Frequently Asked Questions document addressing what it described as "unprecedented inbound interest" from foreign capitals following the recently executed Memorandum of
...WASHINGTON D.C. — In a landmark development that sent shockwaves through Middle Eastern diplomacy and the global shipping industry, the United States and Iran announced a framework agreement to reopen the Strait of Hormuz on Tuesday, ending a
...PALO ALTO — SpaceX announced Monday its acquisition of VibeLaunch, a San Francisco-based artificial intelligence company, for $60 billion in cash and equity. The deal, completed just days after SpaceX's blockbuster initial public offering,
...ARLINGTON, VA — The U.S. Central Command has unveiled its latest breakthrough in proportional killing: the PropCalc 3000™, a cloud-based AI that assigns Yelp-style star ratings to military targets and recommends "calibrated"
...WASHINGTON - The remains of The Department of Education announced today that it is introducing a sweeping new portfolio of income-driven repayment plans to replace the SAVE program, which sunsets July 1. The flagship offering, provisionally
...FIFA COMPOUND, ZURICH - The FIFA Expansion Directorate confirmed Monday that the 2026 World Cup will officially require all participating nations, host cities, and fans to submit notarized Paid Time Off requests in triplicate, effective
...MILWAUKEE — I am broadcasting to you from Room 614 of a mid-tier hotel on Wisconsin Avenue, where the blackout curtains do not black out, the ice machine down the hall hums with the same relentless, mechanical dread I once felt in Beijing, and
...WESTLAKE, OHIO — The 2004 Honda Civic LX sedan belonging to Gregory Milner, 34, a regional accounts manager who absolutely did not ask for this kind of attention, passed away peacefully in its owner's driveway Tuesday evening after a brief but
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