Special Drivel

  • House Begins Debate on 'The Simple Market Insurance LifeCare Act' (SMILE) a.k.a. Trumpcare

    House Begins Debate on 'The Simple Market Insurance LifeCare Act' (SMILE) a.k.a. Trumpcare

    “We are happy to announce we have a successor to ‘Obamacare,’” Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) said on Read More
  • NASA Admits ‘The Math Was Very Hard’ Discussing Latest Satellite Explosion

    NASA Admits ‘The Math Was Very Hard’ Discussing Latest Satellite Explosion

    Today NASA spokesman Jim Jameson told reporters, during a hastily prepared press conference, that “the math… was much, much harder Read More
  • Pope Francis Gives Hope to Refugees, Describes ‘Extreme Heavenly Vetting’ on ‘Lutherans’

    Pope Francis Gives Hope to Refugees, Describes ‘Extreme Heavenly Vetting’ on ‘Lutherans’

    Today Pope Francis told the assembled poor and displaced that god "holds you in his great hands" and would "try Read More
  • President Rates His First Few Weeks as 'Excellent,' America 'God**mn Lucky' to Have Him

    President Rates His First Few Weeks as 'Excellent,' America 'God**mn Lucky' to Have Him

    President Donald Trump praised himself today for doing an "excellent" job during his first month in office, said "America, you Read More
  • Trump Tweets

    Trump Tweets "So-called CIA evidence" of Russian Ties

    WASHINGTON - Early this morning President Trump tweeted what he claimed was the "evidence" that the C.I.A. presented him showing his Read More
  • New 'Bowling Green Massacre' Movie Greenlit by Fox

    New 'Bowling Green Massacre' Movie Greenlit by Fox

    Twentieth-Century Fox announced today that it was greenlighting a film about the infamously nonexistent Bowling Green Massacre, where two Iranian Read More
  • Pitching History, One Show At A Time

    Pitching History, One Show At A Time

    An ambitious television writer pitches a newly established History channel executive on some innovative programming that has nothing to do Read More
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More Awesomeness

  • Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. +

    Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center. It's Read More
  • Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like +

    Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas Read More
  • Trump Announces Support for "Extraterrestrial Abductions" +

    Trump Announces Support for (ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and Read More
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