Special Features

  • Strap In, Folks It's time to get NASTY!
  • Who... are... you? Here Bloomberg and Biden try desperately to figure out who they're speaking to, and why.
  • OOH OOH OOH!! MR. KOTTER! Here candidates for the most powerful political office on earth raise their hands to speak.
  • When You're Smiling Here Senator Klobuchar smiles and smiles leadership.
  • You S.O.B.! This jerk wants United States citizens to have a HIGH STANDARD OF LIVING ***AND*** HEALTHCARE!! You son-of-a-bitch!
  • Call Me Petey. Pete Buttigieg, the former mayor of South Bend, Indiana. We assume he thought this place sold farm implements.
  • Think, Amy, THINK! Here Senator Klobuchar tries to remember a nursery rhyme from childhood.
  • Billionaire-off "As your candidate, I will meet with Trump and out-billionaire the hell out of him."
  • Diversity Yup. That's diverse.
  • Can We At Least Have A Buzzer? "Senator Warren!" "What is looking like an idiot." "Correct!"
  • Not AGAIN! This jerk also wants to END HOMELESSNESS by saying a few thousand families owning 90% of America's wealth IS BAD and should STOP? You fucker.
  • Face-off Here Bernie and Bloomberg hold their own grumpiest old man competition.
  • Please, teach, pick me! Here Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts raises her hand because the others are saying nasty things about her policy.
  • O no you DIDN'T! Here Warren yells at Bloomberg for being a richer jerk than the rest of them, except for Pete, who's the poorest.
  • Strap In, Folks
  • Who... are... you?
  • OOH OOH OOH!! MR. KOTTER!
  • When You're Smiling
  • You S.O.B.!
  • Call Me Petey.
  • Think, Amy, THINK!
  • Billionaire-off
  • Diversity
  • Can We At Least Have A Buzzer?
  • Not AGAIN!
  • Face-off
  • Please, teach, pick me!
  • O no you DIDN'T!

  • Donald Trump Is The President Yup. Donald Trump is the president.
  • Take That Nance! Oh you just wait until the speech is over.
  • This Is An Emotional High Applause paid for by the Trump Foundation.
  • Awkward Waiting for a blind date that your friends described as an "asshole with a great heart."
  • We Were Ordered To Attend And we're fucking thrilled.
  • This Guy's Just Positive DAMN life's good!
  • I Am Clapping I am clapping. I am fun being.
  • Wake Me When It's Over
  • Who Farted?
  • You're Going to Acquit Me, Right? Always Be Closing.
  • Don't Kill The Messenger I'm just the screaming guy, you guys elected him.
  • Yes She Did She'd been waiting for 90 minutes to do this and damn it feels good to be gansta.
  • Mic Drop With the speech in tatters, she's outa there.
  • I Am Being Thrilled Yes, Donald. I am being much excited. Thank you for asking.
  • Donald Trump Is The President
  • Take That Nance!
  • This Is An Emotional High
  • Awkward
  • We Were Ordered To Attend
  • This Guy's Just Positive
  • I Am Clapping
  • Wake Me When It's Over
  • Who Farted?
  • You're Going to Acquit Me, Right?
  • Don't Kill The Messenger
  • Yes She Did
  • Mic Drop
  • I Am Being Thrilled

Bundy: Falling for a Killer

  • You're Gonna Make It After All!
    You're Gonna Make It After All! Here Bundy shows the world that there's a lighter side to barbaric psychopathic violence.
  • Bodies Roasting Over An Open Fire...
    Bodies Roasting Over An Open Fire...
  • Nobody Looks Good After Being Arrested
    Nobody Looks Good After Being Arrested
  • I May Be Just A Simple Psycho Lawyer...
    I May Be Just A Simple Psycho Lawyer...
  • The Girlfriend
    The Girlfriend She was Bundy's girlfriend for a while in the beginning, and now she's ready to cash in on the renewed interest. Honestly good for her.
  • Just An Ordinary Psychopath
    Just An Ordinary Psychopath
  • Killer Groupie Three
    Killer Groupie Three "I know he kills women exactly like me but he's just so cute! Nobody's perfect!"
  • Killer Groupie Two
    Killer Groupie Two "He could diddle my grapefruits any time!"
  • Killer Groupie One
    Killer Groupie One "I'm not afraid. He just doesn't look like a killer. God he looks so dreamy!"
  • The Girlfriend's Daughter
    The Girlfriend's Daughter Here she describes living with the serial killer wasn't the go-lucky funness you'd expect.
  • Ted the Goofball
    Ted the Goofball He was a happy-go-lucky murderer, the Homer Simpson of serial-killing.
  • Ted Bundy or Julian Lennon
    Ted Bundy or Julian Lennon Back before fax machines or the internet, cops only had crap like this to work with so don't be too judgy.
  • Smile You Sucker
    Smile You Sucker Ted Bundy, mild-mannered Republican campaign worker with a personal sense of justice.
  • You're Gonna Make It After All!
  • Bodies Roasting Over An Open Fire...
  • Nobody Looks Good After Being Arrested
  • I May Be Just A Simple Psycho Lawyer...
  • The Girlfriend
  • Just An Ordinary Psychopath
  • Killer Groupie Three
  • Killer Groupie Two
  • Killer Groupie One
  • The Girlfriend's Daughter
  • Ted the Goofball
  • Ted Bundy or Julian Lennon
  • Smile You Sucker

I’m 63 and I’ve discovered I have a zit. Imagine, at my age. This is a throwback to my high school days. Perhaps I’m was trying to relive my youth through the raising up of enough grease inside my skin to achieve one last zit.
 
So Says SammonIt’s a whopper of fair size too. You’d think I wasn’t capable of it. You see, when you’re young, you’re pretty greasy, sort of like a new car all lubricated and ready to go out and race through life in a body that just like that in a car has never been left out in the outside air to start drying out. If you’re a pimply kid, your skin is almost dripping with ooze in addition to tons of sperm from your reproductive organ.
 
Talk about sperm.
 
You could look at somebody practically if you’re a 14-year-old boy and make them pregnant. I ran out of sperm a long time ago but that doesn’t stop me from trying to raise it. Oh, we’re talking about sperm here and I’m getting off the subject of having a zit.
 
Come to think of it, generating sperm and expending it and popping a luscious zit are almost the same kind of experience. They both feel so good. Pressure is applied in both cases and there is a sudden release of power, followed by a rush of disgusting bodily fluid. In fact, sperm and puss from a zit look pretty much the same although pus is a bit more yellowish in color.

Ben Bigfoot (left) is the world's smallest bigfoot, shown here in forced perspective at his repeated insistence.Reader’s note: I wrote this script for a professional comic ventriloquist. Imagine John is the ventriloquist and Ben is the puppet in his lap—in front of a live audience.

John – Hello everybody. I think you’ll agree with me this is a unique experience. An interview with, direct from the lost vastness of the wilderness, Ben, the world’s smallest Bigfoot.

Ben – Thank you.

John – Is it true?

Ben – What?

John – You’re the world’s smallest Bigfoot?

Ben – Do I look like I’m going to play NFL football next year?

John – How did you become the world’s smallest Bigfoot?

Ben – Too much smoking and no sex.

John – Really?

Ben – Isn’t that how you got that bald spot?

SuperBowl LIV Lapdance!

A stripper pole, leather-clad dancers, and an aggressive crotch grab. Is this Harvey Weinstein's wetdream?
Not to be upstaged, J-Lo made sure audiences saw the scant fabric over her baby-maker too.
I may be wrong, but I think the choreographers for this year's half-time show were trying to tell us something....
Yes, she's a mother of 4 but can still grind that pole, girls.
For no particular reason, Superbowl Halftime took a pause from the porn to feature a delightful chorus of school girls, who have a lot to look forward to in the Entertainment Industry.
Shake, shake, shake!
Here this guy helps J-Lo determine just how far he'll go before she presses charges.
J-Lo gave audiences an up-close and personal look into her interior organs Sunday night, vowing to bring ultrasound pictures next year.
J-Lo gave audiences exactly what she thinks they need on a Sunday evening with a gut full of beer and nacho cheese.
Shakira used a unique brand of subtle sexuality to engage the audience.
Never has the importance of 4 sq inches of fabric been more pronounced.

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