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BAGHDAD - RIAA spokesman Norman Normandy bitterly denounced the car bomb that destroyed an estimated $14,600 worth of DVDs and CDs Monday in a crowded market square.


A shattered copy of the Widescreen Farsi language version of 'Brokeback Mountain'"The loss of such high-quality intellectual property is devestating and those responsible for the bombing, obviously besides those who blew themselves up, should be brought to swift and final justice," said Normandy at his hastily prepared press conference aboard the U.S.S. Paris Hilton off the Iraqi coast.  "Not only will the artists suffer a direct financial loss from this bombing, but all the fine industry professionals who brought the products to market, all the way from recording engineers to film editors."  When asked for a reaction to the fact that the bombing also killed an estimated 100 people, Normandy was quick to point out that "collateral damage... is always regrettable."

Most of the entertainment was damaged beyond repair in the explosion, although an RIAA team did try to recover as many titles as possible.  Nearly 100 copies of "Saw 3," 21 copies of "Employee of the Month" with comedian Dane Cook, and 500 copies of Eminem's "Konvicted" were reported "salvaged" but in "still damaged" condition.  As many as 300 titles have been officially listed as "missing in action," prompting the RIAA to issue a statement reminding Iraqis that "any missing entertainment that remains playable" is still covered by international copyright law and therefore "considered stolen property." 

A 12 hour "don't ask-don't tell" amnesty period, during which citizens can pay for the stolen titles without having their hand chopped off, expires at midnight.  Thereafter, Iraqi police forces will conduct a series of hut-to-apartment raids with machetes.

This recent loss continues a trend that has already cost the American entertainment industry nearly $250,000 over the past fiscal quarter, leading some industry insiders to call for the immediate withdrawl of DVDs, CDs and all game console titles shipped into Iraq.  "It's simply too dangerous," said one insider on condition of anonymity.  "The economic climate [in Iraq] just won't support the types of profits we need.  That's just bad business."

Wall Street reacted negatively to the losses, but positively on the late morning announcement by Sony production executive Steve Stephens that his company will "immediately cease... sending any boxed entertainment into war torn regions."

 

SuperBowl LIV Lapdance!

A stripper pole, leather-clad dancers, and an aggressive crotch grab. Is this Harvey Weinstein's wetdream?
Not to be upstaged, J-Lo made sure audiences saw the scant fabric over her baby-maker too.
I may be wrong, but I think the choreographers for this year's half-time show were trying to tell us something....
Yes, she's a mother of 4 but can still grind that pole, girls.
For no particular reason, Superbowl Halftime took a pause from the porn to feature a delightful chorus of school girls, who have a lot to look forward to in the Entertainment Industry.
Shake, shake, shake!
Here this guy helps J-Lo determine just how far he'll go before she presses charges.
J-Lo gave audiences an up-close and personal look into her interior organs Sunday night, vowing to bring ultrasound pictures next year.
J-Lo gave audiences exactly what she thinks they need on a Sunday evening with a gut full of beer and nacho cheese.
Shakira used a unique brand of subtle sexuality to engage the audience.
Never has the importance of 4 sq inches of fabric been more pronounced.

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