Special Drivel

  • Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

    Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

    The bots are back in town in this loving homage to de-aged robot apocalypse fiction. Read More
  • Punxsutawney Phil Fired After Predicting Massive Russian Interference in 2020 Election

    Punxsutawney Phil Fired After Predicting Massive Russian Interference in 2020 Election

    President Trump "fired" Punxsutawney Phil, despite having no authority to do so, as Phil is not a federal employee or Read More
  • Total Victory of the Imagination

    Total Victory of the Imagination

    Holy crap, this is the best robotic technology we’ve come up with by 2020? What are we doing? Read More
  • Bundy-O-Rama

    Bundy-O-Rama

    Ted Bundy: on one hand a murderous psychopath, on the other a Republican who treated his girlfriend and her daughter ok. Read More
  • Human Allows Alexa, Siri and Google Assistant To Converse

    Human Allows Alexa, Siri and Google Assistant To Converse

    Nothing is known about what caused this, other than the user was an idiot. Read More
  • Moon Aliens

    Moon Aliens

    Did aliens travel dozens or hundreds of lightyears to build crap on our moon? Read More
  • Joker (2019)

    Joker (2019)

    Joaquin Phoenix chain-smokes his way through a rewarding fantasy life punctuated by psychopathic violence in this adorable popcorn flick. Read More
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
SADR CITY, BAGHDAD - Radical cleric Muqtada al-Sadr bitterly denounced Israel's bombing of a Hezbollah McDonald's today at a PR event outside his flagship restaurant "S.C. McD's."

Muqtada al-Sadr denounced the attack on a Hezbollah McDonald's today."On the threshold of this, our latest advertising blitz to hit the Muslim world," said the Shia cleric to press and investors through an interpreter, "we are bitterly reminded of Israel's longstanding hatred of Arab business ventures.  We hope that the world can see that we cannot let this sort of capitalist war destroy our profits!"

felafel_king_v3One investor, who in every other respect besides having a large beard, sunglasses and furry cap looked exactly like Mel Gibson, asked the cleric if he still intended on "expanding throughout Iraq and into Saudi Arabia."  Al-Sadr responded "absolutely yes" to wild applause and AK-47 fire.  Eventually the ceremonial ribbon to the store was blown up using an improvised exploding device.  Only 14 people were reported injured.

At the opening of Israel's 500th "Kingdom of Felafel" outside Tel Aviv, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert was quick to retort.  "We are aware that some of our competitors view our strategic bombing attacks on terrorist targets to be calculated to eliminate our retail food rivals.  Well, nothing could be further from the truth."

For some reason, the Tel Aviv Stock Exchange (TASE) shot to record highs following the Prime Minister's remarks, laying waste to rumors that the only important stock exchange in the retail food industry was in New York.

 

SuperBowl LIV Lapdance!

A stripper pole, leather-clad dancers, and an aggressive crotch grab. Is this Harvey Weinstein's wetdream?
Not to be upstaged, J-Lo made sure audiences saw the scant fabric over her baby-maker too.
I may be wrong, but I think the choreographers for this year's half-time show were trying to tell us something....
Yes, she's a mother of 4 but can still grind that pole, girls.
For no particular reason, Superbowl Halftime took a pause from the porn to feature a delightful chorus of school girls, who have a lot to look forward to in the Entertainment Industry.
Shake, shake, shake!
Here this guy helps J-Lo determine just how far he'll go before she presses charges.
J-Lo gave audiences an up-close and personal look into her interior organs Sunday night, vowing to bring ultrasound pictures next year.
J-Lo gave audiences exactly what she thinks they need on a Sunday evening with a gut full of beer and nacho cheese.
Shakira used a unique brand of subtle sexuality to engage the audience.
Never has the importance of 4 sq inches of fabric been more pronounced.

More Awesomeness

  • Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. +

    Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center. It's Read More
  • Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like +

    Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas Read More
  • Trump Announces Support for "Extraterrestrial Abductions" +

    Trump Announces Support for (ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and Read More
  • 1