President Barack Obama is a mind-controlled, time-traveling and shape-shifting reptilian under control of the C.I.A. in association with D.A.R.P.A. He's engaged in a conspiracy to depopulate Louisiana, along with the rest of the world until the total population of the earth is 500,000,000, give or take. Obama was told he was going to President of the United States when he was 7 to 11 years old -- by other time-traveling kids -- and was then groomed to take the reins of power, along with George H.W. Bush, his son George W., and Bill Clinton. (I guess the time-travelers didn't get to 2016 and 2020 A.D. yet.)
This was all witnessed by a fellow time-traveling kid turned whistle blower, who has proof in the form of a single blurry picture from Gettysburg, taken when President Lincoln was giving his famous speech, featuring himself standing front-and-center, although the face is completely obscured and there are no supporting details.
Case closed, as far as he's concerned.
It's been a long time since anything got tossed into Conspiracy Corner. This wasn't for lack of conspiracies, but my lack of motivation in writing about them. Actual, no-tinfoil-on-the-noggin conspiracies are commonplace whenever people group up and decide to do almost anything worth doing. For a long time, I, like most people I think, was under the impression that this alone meant nefarious things were afoot. As I've grown older, I've come to realize they're probably doing things in secret because they didn't want a bunch of screaming idiots bothering them and mucking things up. The more important the things they're working on, the more need to keep things from morons, basically. Great things rarely get done by large groups of people.
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