Conspiracy Corner

Ventura, voiced by Kevin from The Office, here wraps up the evening's gaggle of exploited mentally ill people.President Barack Obama is a mind-controlled, time-traveling and shape-shifting reptilian under control of the C.I.A. in association with D.A.R.P.A.  He's engaged in a conspiracy to depopulate Louisiana, along with the rest of the world until the total population of the earth is 500,000,000, give or take.  Obama was told he was going to President of the United States when he was 7 to 11 years old -- by other time-traveling kids -- and was then groomed to take the reins of power, along with George H.W. Bush, his son George W., and Bill Clinton.  (I guess the time-travelers didn't get to 2016 and 2020 A.D. yet.)

This was all witnessed by a fellow time-traveling kid turned whistle blower, who has proof in the form of a single blurry picture from Gettysburg, taken when President Lincoln was giving his famous speech, featuring himself standing front-and-center, although the face is completely obscured and there are no supporting details.

Case closed, as far as he's concerned.

Here some guys help out the alien dude by whacking it on the back.  Nice.It's been a long time since anything got tossed into Conspiracy Corner.  This wasn't for lack of conspiracies, but my lack of motivation in writing about them.  Actual, no-tinfoil-on-the-noggin conspiracies are commonplace whenever people group up and decide to do almost anything worth doing.   For a long time, I, like most people I think, was under the impression that this alone meant nefarious things were afoot.  As I've grown older, I've come to realize they're probably doing things in secret because they didn't want a bunch of screaming idiots bothering them and mucking things up.  The more important the things they're working on, the more need to keep things from morons, basically.  Great things rarely get done by large groups of people.

This is Stanton Friedman: Take a look at freedom, slappy.I've admitted it before: I collect conspiracies and conspiracy nuts like some people collect baseball cards, antiques, or syphilis.  The reason is very simple:  I'd rather read a hundred guys like this guy and have 89 of them be delusional lunatics with no appreciable sense of reality than have only the loosely rewritten press releases that substitute for news these days to figure out what the hell's going on.  I say let the damn dogs out.  Let 'em out and let 'em run wild.  That's freedom, baby.

That's a real dead alien body if I ever bleepin' saw one.I'm a big fan of conspiracy theories. I collect them like some people collect hats or baseball cards or heroin. In an increasingly complex, technological, and integrated (in a holistic sense) world we live in, it's easy to get confused, rattled, and damn right scared shitless. Paranoia, after all, is only pathological if there really is nobody out to get you. Unless you live in a Saddam Hole someplace or never, EVER piss anyone off, chances are someone's out gunning for you somewhere, somehow, RIGHT NOW. I personally get so many death threats that I've started an Access database. Always be organized, that's my motto.


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