HAVANA — The Cuban Communist Party's Political Bureau recently approved an emergency economic package that introduces unprecedented free-market measures to an island economy that has operated under central planning since 1959, raising a critical question: does anyone on the government payroll actually know how markets work?
"We have no institutional memory of this," admitted Ministerial Economic Coordinator Héctor Menéndez during a hastily called press conference, speaking from what appeared to be a government office with a single open laptop displaying a Google search for "supply and demand explained for free." Menéndez, 58, confirmed that he and his staff had spent much of Thursday afternoon consulting a YouTube tutorial series titled "Capitalism for Absolute Beginners." They were on Part Three.
The reforms represent the most significant economic shift in Cuba's post-revolutionary history. State companies will now have autonomy to design their own pay systems and distribute profits. Municipalities can import and export goods directly, sidestepping the Ministry. The decades-old rationing system is being phased out in favor of market pricing. The government has reduced the number of ministries from 27 to 21, a move that officials characterized as "clearing out the deadwood" and "creating space for whatever we're supposed to be doing now, which we are actively looking into."
The policy package was shaped by studies of economic models used by China and Vietnam—both communist nations that implemented market reforms ahead of Cuba. Asked how much consultation went into the blueprint, Menéndez shrugged. "Vietnam sent us a pamphlet," he said. "China sent us an email with a PDF—147 pages—that no one has opened. We printed it anyway."
The real challenge, according to internal government documents obtained by IRREVERENT, is that after six decades of central planning, Cuba's economic bureaucracy has no working knowledge of how capitalist mechanisms function. One Ministry of Economic Planning official, speaking on condition of anonymity, confessed that he had believed "the invisible hand" was an actual person—possibly a retired economist or a senior trade negotiator with a nickname—who could be contacted to broker market adjustments.
"We looked in the government directory," the official explained. "Nothing under 'Invisible Hand.' We tried 'H. Invisible' as well. Also nothing. There was a Carlos Mano in the agriculture division. He was contacted. He was not helpful."
The government attempted to recruit private-sector expertise from abroad. In late May, the Ministry sent an email to Dr. Ernesto Fuentes, a retired economist based in Miami who emigrated from Cuba in 1987. The message requested a briefing on "how capitalism works, probably around 30 minutes, maybe with a PowerPoint."
Fuentes did not respond. When reached by telephone, he hung up. When called again, he hung up again. A third attempt went to voicemail. The voicemail had not been set up.
"He seems busy," Menéndez noted without irony.
State companies have begun the practical work of setting wage structures and profit distribution—essentially inventing capitalism from first principles. One state oil company announced it would pay workers based on "how good their vibes were," citing a misread Medium article about "positive workplace culture." A tourism ministry official proposed a dynamic pricing model in which hotel rates would fluctuate based on "how much tourists smile when they arrive." The model does not currently account for jetlag.
Meanwhile, the municipal governments preparing for direct import-export authority have requested clarification on several procedural matters. The Port Authority of Santiago de Cuba submitted a written inquiry asking whether cargo ships require "permission slips" to leave and, if so, who signs them, and whether there was a "gift box" system analogous to the old centralized distribution model, which they described as "the normal one." Havana's director of logistics asked if there was a number to call when imports arrived, the way there was a centralized hotline for ration allocations.
"We're building the plane while flying it," said Deputy Minister of Trade Roberto Castellanos during a separate hastily prepared press conference, speaking while holding a spreadsheet upside down. "Possibly literally, in some cases. We're still figuring out if spreadsheets are a real thing or something people made up to sound smart."
The Chinese and Vietnamese models offer a blueprint, but Cuban officials admit the context is different. "Vietnam's transition took 30 years," Menéndez said. "We're trying to do it while the economy is already on fire. That was in the brief somewhere."
The financial markets have begun reacting. In early afternoon trading Wednesday, Wall Street acknowledged the news of Cuba's free-market pivot with what can only be described as bemused paralysis. The Dow climbed 200 points on pure confusion, as traders absorbed the headline and collectively decided it was safer to buy than to ask follow-up questions.
One equity analyst told Bloomberg that the situation was "technically fascinating as a case study in institutional incompetence" but that she would wait "until someone actually knows what they're doing" before recommending positions. The Cuban peso strengthened 0.3 percent by close—the first gain in four months—largely because nobody was sure whether buying or selling was the correct response, so everyone held and hoped the problem would resolve itself, which is also, loosely, the Cuban government's economic strategy.
The government has scheduled daily briefings on market mechanics, featuring presentations from state economists who have themselves been speed-reading Wikipedia articles on price elasticity and comparative advantage. Cuba's National Assembly is expected to vote on implementation details in July, assuming the legislative staff can finish translating an annotated copy of "Economics 101" located in the back of a closet. Three chapters are highlighted. The rest appear unread.
When asked whether the government had contingency plans in case the free-market model failed, Menéndez paused, then said: "There's probably a hotline or something. We'll set that up next week."
The Cuban government did not respond to requests for additional comment. They were last seen in a Zoom meeting titled "How to into Capitalism: A Beginner's Guide," scheduled to run through Thursday.