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Bush, you idiot, you moron, you cretin, you numb skull.  

I can tell by the shape of your head and your expressionless agate eyes you're as smart as a fence post.  

You're the fourth stooge (actually Bush is the fifth. Shemp was the fourth). Moe should put your head in a rubber vice to the sound effects of cracking walnuts.

You dufus, you nitwit, you dork.

You told the American people there were weapons of mass destruction (really mass distortion) in Iraq because if you told them the truth, that you were launching a war just to do a regime change, the American people wouldn't go for it.

You knew this. You lied. Then you lied that you didn't lie.

You ordered up a war as a punitive strike to take out weapons of mass destruction knowing there was evidence they weren't there, then when they weren't found, changed the reasoning for the war to a crusade to establish democracy against an insurgency you helped ignite. Remember when you dared insurgents to attack your own troops?

You've been harder on the American people than you ever were on Al-Qaeda.

Go ahead, place a spy satellite over my house. Bug my phone.

You bug me man!

Have the CIA compile a file on me, one of millions, but it better contain lots of juicy stuff. I'm proud of my file.

Subvert the Constitution. Run wild. Even the late Gerald Ford was appalled.

You! You! You simpleton in a suit.  

You don't deserve to be the president of the United States. I wouldn't vote for you for dog catcher. The dogs don't deserve it!

How did a little midget like you with pointy ears who looks like a troll who lives under a bridge get elected anyway? Vote fraud.

You're living proof one man can change the country into a semi-constitutional monarchy with yourself answerable only to a higher authority. And it's not Congress. Congress is actually below the US Post Office in authority.

It's God! You answer only to him.

The problem is, even though you sit in church, God doesn't like you. If he did, and we're calling him a "he" because we all assume God is a man. If he did like you, something, somehow, somewhere, would work out. But it never does.

Nothing you have ever done or tried to do or promised has ever worked. You're consistent. Consistently wrong.  

You said about the weapons of mass destruction, "we'll find 'em." Again and again. You said about the war, "we're winning." Again and again.

Month after month you said these lies. Then, when the lies became too ridiculous, you finally admitted the truth. "We're not winning."

Asked what Iraq had to do with 9-11, you finally said, "nothing."

No one holds you accountable. Finding out the truth from you is like peeling layers off an onion. It takes a long time.

You..in your speech, finally admitted "mistakes." Mistakes? Your entire administration is a mistake. This doesn't have anything to do with being a Republican or Democrat. You're a Bozo.  

Let's try the surge. Maybe that will work. It will be the first time anything has.

When are we going to get a new president? When will we be liberated from you and your cronies?

You make me wish Richard Nixon was back. I never knew how much I really loved Dick (Nixon).


©2007, SammonSays.com. Reprinted with permission.