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I would love someone on network TV to call me a "tattooed, nappy-headed ho." Please! It would mean so much to me.

I never heard of this goof Don Imus until the recent firestorm controversy when he called the female Rutgers basketball team a bunch of, "tattooed, nappy-headed hos."  

Should we be shocked? A slander innuendo newscaster who gets paid for being outrageous got in trouble for being outrageous.

"Nappy" means curly headed, I think. Ho, I believe, is imitated inner-city (African American) speak for the word "whore."

It’s tasteless. It’s vulgar. It’s wrong.

It’s ratings.

You should never in this lawsuit happy country make fun of anyone without their written consent, especially if that person is a woman of a so-called minority group.

That means it‘s only safe to make fun of male hillbillies, white southern trash. Nobody complains if you do that.

But let me explode some myths and double standards and hypocrisies.

First of all, the girls on the team, some of them, probably do have tattoos, and they look big and strong and tough. They look like imitation men. You have to be tough, and big and strong, much like a man, to win today at women’s sports. The days when lady athletes wore demure skirts and said flirtatiously things like, "why, aren’t you the one," are long past.  


I would run from these women in a dark alley behind a bar.

College athletes who are supposed to be amateurs, are virtually hired by the college to bring glory to its name for big bucks, and are enrolled in bogus classes to give the appearance they actually attend the school. They are given money and sometimes houses for their participation in school sports. If recruiters only picked real students to play on the team, the team wouldn’t win.

If that isn’t the case, why are all these recruiting violations coming to light?

Millions of dollars are at stake here. Future pro careers are too. This isn’t about the love of amateur sports. This is big business.

Here is a list of classes favored by these professional college athletes.

1. Basket Weaving 1A

2. Inter-racial studies.

3. Wood Shop.

4. Lunch Break.

These athletes (many of them) aren’t interested in going to college to learn a trade. Basketball is their trade. That’s fine. But it’s not really college sports.

America is a country of poseurs, seeking fame and fortune ruthlessly underneath their demeanor of nobility. Imus and some of the girls on the team have something in common.

Imus shouldn’t make fun of the looks of others, since he looks like a criminal vagabond with the beadiest set of eyes I’ve ever seen (he looks like Mike Love of the Beach Boys). They could have at least gotten a good looking guy to be a racist buffoon.

But c’mon! During a filmed reply to Imus’s remarks, a cute little Caucasian girl basketball player said, "you (Imus) took our victory away from us."

The only problem I have with that is the cute little Caucasian girl sat the bench and didn’t play in the game. I never saw her in the tape. She wasn’t big enough, tall enough, strong enough, tough enough.

It’s kind of fascinating in a bizarre way to have girls who want to swear if they choose, punch somebody if need be, lift weights, take steroids, give you the finger when your car bumps theirs, get tattooed, but who still insist on being treated somehow like ladies, not like the roughneck imitation men they’ve become.

You’ve come a long way baby since Mary Pickford (old time silent film actress noted for her innocent childlike portrayals). Baby, you’re six-foot-three and can bench press (thanks to new training methods and steroids) six hundred pounds.

If I call you a hussy, you’ll throw me through a window.

I don’t know which delighted me more, sleaze-bag Imus losing his job (he’s been asking for it), or the outrage over some of his brutal Darwinian truisms.

The genders male and female are blending closer together

 
©2007, SammonSays.com.  Reprinted with permission.