The Editor's Mess

Here I was sitting around the IRREVERENT bunker, quite content to not work on the zine at all, avoid completing my taxes, drink too much, and adopt a generally casual attitude toward all sorts of deadlines when all of the sudden it hit me: do a column on the fact that I have no motivation to do my column.  Genius, I tells ya.  Sheer genius.  Well it was enough to get me writing anyway.

I have no motivation primarily because I don't know where to start.  There are just oodles of juicy bits hanging off the body politic ripe for the harvest: where, oh where to begin?  How do I work in Tom DeLay, congress reviewing breast implants, mention the latest bankruptcy "reform" bill, and toss in how the state of Nevada recently decided against a proposed new tax?  Yes, you read right: Nevada recently voted against imposing a 10% tax on food and drinks served in the state's 28 licensed brothels and $2 for each "party" they "throw."  (Ah ha, here it comes....)

Yep, not only did sin's favorite Red State avoid taxing small businesspeople -- like good little Red Statians -- they still don't mind having 28 legal brothels hanging around.  But ignore that little bonus irony for a moment and consider what this industry is asking for: they're  asking, perhaps even begging to be taxed more.  This is probably the only time I can ever recall any industry demanding the state tax them more.  Usually industry is far too busy having their lobbyists and lawyers whine about how their 3% net tax burden is so unreasonably oppressive that if anyone dares to suggest they should pay a single penny more they'll be forced to fire all their workers and all but launch an armed campaign to overthrow the "socialist" government.

So why is this industry asking to be taxed?  "If we contribute and do nice things for the state," said George Flint, a lobbyist for the brothel industry, "maybe the state will like us better."  Yes there is a "brothel lobby."  Yes the brothel lobby has lobbyists.  And yes, they want to be taxed so the state likes them.  Apparently, the state hasn't been tipping well enough when it "parties."

Hmm.  So taxation equals love, that's the lesson here, folks.  And since, according to Nevada's Health Division there are about 365,000 sex acts performed in the brothels each year -- which represents almost $730,000 in possible revenue -- there's a lotta love to be had.