IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - IRREVERENT Magazine has obtained an exclusive and previously unreleased audio transcript of grand jury testimony in the case of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

The transcript seems to confirm earlier reports regarding a recent burglary at Democratic National Headquarters.  Obtained from a highly placed source inside the White House, who could not be named referring to matters sensitive to the administration, the transcript indicates that Vice President Cheney wished to discuss the Valerie Plame affair with Bush Senor Advisor and confidante Karl Rove while the the two men were meeting about something referred to only as "Delta, NC."

The transcript came to IRREVERENT on May 17th, shortly after Fitzgerald introduced private notes in which the Vice President indicated knowledge of Valerie Plame, her position at the CIA and her relationship to Joseph Wilson.  Wilson, Plame's husband and a former ambassador, became a vocal critic of the Bush Administration's rationale for going to war with Iraq.  Fitzgerald's investigation is seeking to learn who revealed Plame's identity as a CIA operative to the press.  Doing so is a federal crime.

Libby's testimony in March of 2005, the source of the transcript, referred to Cheney's notes regarding Joseph Wilson.  In the testimony, Fitzgerald can be heard asking Libby whether Vice President Cheney discussed the Plame affair at any meeting with him.  Libby responds that he remembered the Vice President had made notes in a margin of the New York Times Op-Ed piece written by Joseph Wilson questioning the administration's case for war in Iraq.  Libby also recalled the Vice President suggesting that he would remember to ask Rove at their meeting later that afternoon. 

Fitzgerald:  And what day was that?
Libby:  This would have been in July, 2003.
Fitzgerald:  Can you remember the specific date?
Libby:  No.
Fitzgerald:  Do you remember the date the article in question appeared?
Libby:  No.
Fitzgerald:  I have a copy of the article here, it's dated July 6th, 2003.  Could your meeting with the Vice President have happened then?
Libby:  I don't remember.
Fitzgerald:  What was the topic of that meeting?
Libby:  It was the daily briefing.
Fitzgerald:  What did you discuss?
Libby:  We discussed the Plame affair.
Fitzgerald:  Anything else?
Libby:  No.
Fitzgerald:  Your notes mention "VPOTUS and Rove discuss Delta, NC."
Libby:  I don't remember.
Fitzgerald:  What is "Delta, NC?"
Libby:  I don't remember
Fitzgerald:  Who was involved in "Delta, NC?"
Libby: I don't remember.
Fitzgerald:  Was "Delta, NC" in anyway concerned with the Plame affair or Joseph Wilson's trip to Niger?
Libby: No.
Officials at the FBI and DC Metro Police refused to comment when asked whether the testimony would have any effect on investigations into either the DNC break-in or the missing Delta Force soldiers.  IRREVERENT sources at both agencies, unable to be named while talking about ongoing cases, have confirmed however that the FBI has placed investigation of the disappearance of three Delta Force commandos from their base at Ft. Bragg, NC; the discovery of the remains of one of those commandos; and the recent burglary at DNC Headquarters all under one investigatory unit. 

When asked under what circumstances Fitzgerald might broaden his probe to include the burglary, a source who requested anonymity when discussing hypothetical situations said, "If the FBI were to uncover something linking their investigations to 'Delta, NC' then obviously a new grand jury would be convened.  Our office might have to be involved.  Realistically though," the source continued, "just because the Vice President and Karl Rove were discussing 'Delta, NC' in 2003, and now a tape allegedly exists showing three Delta Force commandos burglarizing the DNC National Headquarters in 2006, that doesn't mean there's a connection."

Democratic Party spokespeople remain strangely silent on the matter, although one highly placed source on Chairman Howard Dean's staff, who refused to be identified talking about internal policy, said, "Well there's obviously a connection.  Look, 'Delta, NC' was first discussed in 2003.  In 2004, Kerry's campaign somehow collapsed at the last minute, costing him the presidency.  Fast forward to 2006 and, just prior to the November mid-terms, there's a break-in and this time it's caught on tape.  Doesn't seem much of a coincidence."

When asked why the Democrats were not making the charges publicly, the source replied, "We're confident that the American people know how corrupt this administration and the party in power are.  Bush's poll numbers are the lowest ever and there's really no need for us to push the investigation along.  Besides, once we get the House and Senate back we'll have a lot more subpoena power to really clean up Washington.  If there's one thing we're prepared to do it's to go straight to the bottom of things."



IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.

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