The discovery of this clause in the controversial war funding bill took some on Capitol Hill by surprise, while others seemed oddly undisturbed. "I think this is probably the least pork we've ever attached to a bill, if this is true," said Senator Jim Jameson (R-Tenn.).
Other undiscovered language also suggests that this mandatory harmonic teaching be done "peacefully, if possible, but compulsory if necessary" for the residents of the world. The establishment of the "Global Harmonic Singing Regime" is slated to begin three years after the bill is signed into law and cost approximately $44 billion. Additional language suggests that afterward the world will be led on a forced march "to rock on to Electric Avenue."
The White House has promised to veto the bill on the grounds that forced, compulsory singing is "morally wrong, especially for the tone-deaf."
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