"Our clocks and our steadfastness will remain," President Bush said. "We will not be deterred in our present course of action no matter what the cost to our upcoming schedule, punctuality or state dinners. From this day forward, all government clocks and other time keeping devices.. will remain at their present times. We refuse retreat."
The announcement caught many by surprise, leaving others simply confused. "Huh," said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. "Didn't see that coming."
"Of course we will follow our new orders," sighed Admiral John Johnson, Director of the Time Service Department of the U.S. Naval Observatory, "although giving us a few hours to prepare will make our mission extremely difficult. For instance, the entire global positioning system -- on which our naval vessels, airports, and cell phones rely -- will become essentially useless after 2a.m. Sunday morning." Johnson added, with a shrug and a sigh, "Well, we'll do our best. At least everyone else will have the right time."
Others lauded the President's bold decisiveness. House Republican Leader John Boehner (R-OH) characterized the decision as "the exact definition... of courageous leadership in a time of global peril." "Let the Democrats fold to the pressure," Boehner said. "Each and every Republican intends to follow the President in this course; not even one wristwatch or house clock shall be set backwards in defeat. We are firmly behind our Commander in Chief."
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