IRREVERENT News

ODESSA, Florida – You wait, and you wait, and you wait and there's still no satirical take on the recent death of television's Legendary Pitchman™ Billie Mays.  Where can you go to get a few yuks from the unfortunate demise of a fellow human being?  Hi Tyrone Mercer here for IRREVERENT Magazine's Billy Mays DeathNewz™:  your number one source for satire about the passing of America's beloved blue shirted pitchman.

Here's how it works.  Billie Mays, whose high volume, sleep disrupting spiels you loved so much,  is found unresponsive in his Odessa, Florida home.  Despite repeated attempts to revive him with the not-yet-seen-on-TV Shark Shocker Home Defibrillator Kit, Mays is pronounced dead.  That's when IRREVERENT Magazine's powerful satire generating abilities go to work for you.  Just spray Billy Mays DeathNewz on your web browser address bar and be instantly connected to the best satire in the world.  The secret is in the meth and alcohol fueled activity constantly surrounding IRREVERENT headquarters.

Before Billy Mays DeathNewz, satire about celebrity deaths could cost several tens of dollars.  But you won't pay tens of dollars, you won't even pay ten dollars.  You won't pay nine dollars, eight dollars, or seven dollars.  If you call by the end of this news item, you won't even pay six, five, or four dollars.  We won't charge you three bucks or two bucks, in fact we won't even charge you one single Washingon.  That's right, IRREVERENT magazine will bring you all the benefits of Billy Mays DeathNewz for free.  With just a web browser, an internet connection, and the ability to see what could possibly be funny about a guy with heart disease dying in his sleep, Billy Mays DeathNewz will leap onto your laptop and have you chortling well into the next Christian Children's Fund infomercial.

But wait! That's not all! Pick up the phone right now and corpulent IRREVERENT publisher Scott Meadow will send you satire about the death of other celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Keanu Reeves career absolutely free! Our patented (by somebody else) internet technology can deliver this and much more before you can say “High bandwidth cap overage charges.”

You followed him on Twitter!  You watched him on TV!  You feared that he would jump out and yell at you about cleaning products!  Now laugh yourself silly at his tragic and all too soon death with Billy Mays DeathNewz! Call now!  Operators are standing by.