NORTH CAROLINA - Local flag merchant Irving Pez of Raleigh today announced that he, like many other retailers has "completely dropped" Confederate flags from his online and in-store stock due to its association "with racism and slavery," but was pleasantly surprised to discover that his "sales were made up... and then some by Nazi memorabilia."

Poprietor Irving Pez likens selling Confederate flags to donuts."Sure didn't expect that," said Pez.  "But it's been great for business."

Pez was quick to clarify that he "ain't no racist" but was simply responding to the market.  "When I was selling [confederate] flags," Pez expalined, "I wasn't making no statement about slavery or whatnot, I was just selling what people wanted to buy.  If they hated [African-Americans] that ain't my fault."

ACLU spokesperson Marian Rhapsody disagrees.  "Individual proprietors may or may not be racist," Rhapsody said at a rally outside the state capital building.  "But the flag remains a potent symbol of intolerance and extreme racism and has no place in modern times."

"May as well tell Dunkin' Donuts to stop selling [their merchandise] because fat people like 'em," Pez concluded.  "Hell what do I care, that Nazi stuff is sellin' faster than a pig runnin' from Adam Richman."

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