IRREVERENT News

VATICAN CITY - The Pope's newly blessed "iNdulgence App 2.0" has seen brisk sales, but not without controversy.

Version 1.0 of the app -- sold from iTunes, Android Market and for the Blackberry -- offered to "relieve the temporal punishment" of the user's sins for a sliding scale, tax-deductible tribute, depending on the sin's severity. Fully Vatican-2.0 compliant, the app proved to be a mega-hit among Catholics worldwide, with reported tributes in the tens of millions of euros merely weeks after initial launch. Although an instant hit, critics have called the app - and especially the latest 2.0 version -- an "offense in the eyes of God."

"This is nothing more than selling absolution for profit," said Martin Koenig, author of eFormation, a popular "anti-iNdulgence" app. "This is a clear abuse, and cannot be tolerated anymore!" Unlike it's competitor, eFormation does not offer absolution, but urges the user to attend mass -- typically at a nearby Lutheran congregation -- and do a series of randomly selected "good deeds" to "repent in the eyes of God."

Critics of the new iNdulgence 2.0 app cite the recent addition of "second degree, unintentional homicide" as a primary complaint ($500,000 US).

Although controversial, Pope Benedict XVI remains steadfast in his support of the addition and the new version. "The 2.0 release is much more supplicant friendly, and we are merely reacting to the needs of the people," said Benedict. "Our monks in marketing have confirmed there is a strong need for more and varied indulgences for a variety of sins. Our goal is to deliver them. Thankfully, our marketing monks have taken a vow of silence, so I communicate with them primarily by email. If you've ever dealt with marketing people, you know what a relief this is."