HONG KONG - Protesters decrying the poorly done YouTube portrayal of the Buddha as "morbidly obese" and "in more desperate need of Weight Watchers than inner peace" set fire to a local McDonald's this morning, after violently storming a protective police line.
A spokesrioter for the Buddhist splinter group "Ain't Karma a Bitch" (approx. translation) characterized the actions as "expected... given the vicious characterization of our holiest man of peace." "We will not tolerate any portrayal of the Buddha that paints him in anything but the holiest, most peaceful light. Those who dare to transgress will be tortured and killed."
The U.S. State Department responded by issuing a statement denouncing both the McDonald's attack and the video that started it all. "The United States had absolutely nothing to do with the video, which we find to be both in poor taste and suffering from terrible production values. The United States Government's official position is that the Buddha is a profound symbol of peaceful reflection, and in no way merely a 'fat, disgusting slob' as indicated in the anonymous YouTube video that, until two days ago, had 37 views and 211 dislikes."
Prominent buddhists have been quick to voice their own opinions, both on the riots and the sadly amateurish video. "Whoever produced this thing didn't have a clue about filmmaking," said Oliver Stone, a buddhist and film director. "It can't have been anyone in the industry. Even [Mel] Gibson wouldn't produce such hate-filled schlock, he's got amazing production standards, just look at Braveheart."
Other celebrities have targeted the violent philosophy of the protesters. "I think these rioters have fundamentally missed most everything about the nature and tenets of Buddhism," said Lisa Simpson, a prominent Buddhist and television star.
Hong Kong police and fire officials, meanwhile, issued a joint statement calling for the offending video to be taken down off YouTube "before more innocent people are hurt."
Photos: Flickr/vivevans, timniblett
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