IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.

HOLLYWOOD - The Centers for Disease Control today announced "Oscar™ Fever" has officially reached "pandemic proportions."

The Kodak Theater has been quarantined by the C.D.C. in cooperation with local health authorities.Millions of Americans are infected with the fever, according to CDC Director Dr. Alan Allenton.  The disease is believed to be a viral variant of "Oscar™ Buzz," although with a much more potent pathology.  "With Oscar™ Buzz," said Dr. Allenton, "we would expect minor symptoms like euphoria, giddiness, even a latent feeling of hope and goodwill toward your fellow man.  Although highly unusual these days, Oscar™ Buzz doesn't present much of a threat to the nation's health care system.  Oscar™ Fever, however, is much more toxic and a thousand times more dangerous."

The fever has ravaged the Hollywood community, laying waste to large swaths of Bevery Hills and greater Los Angeles.  Director James Cameron has been bed-ridden for weeks with the disease, as has Kathryn Bigelow who's movie "The Hurt Locker" alone has reportedly infected 50% of the greater Los Angeles area and much of the movie-going population.

"This one does not follow normal disease vectors," said Dr. Allenton.  "It appears to spread through movie theaters and internet sites, making it perhaps the first cyber-infection in history that has real-world symptomology.  Those geeks in China sure are getting clever."

 

IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.

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