WASHINGTON - Pres. Obama today authorized the use of military force against Col. Muammar al-Gaddafi's "outfits... and ridiculous clothing."
"We are not," said President Obama, "the world's police. At this juncture, however, we feel compelled to be the world's fashion police. I cannot imagine what this man is thinking, enough is enough."
The call for "surgical strikes" against the Libyan strongman's wardrobe was warmly received by all allied nations, and a majority of American enemies. "We disagree with the United States on just about every point of international action they have taken over the past 50 years," said Faisel bin Rashid, speaking on behalf of al-Quaida. "But even we have received headaches from [Gaddafi's] wardrobes. Bombs away."
Several American fashion designers, meanwhile, expressed their concerns over the precedent. "I don't believe any clothing, no matter how it is perceived, should be subject to American military action," said disgraced designer John Galliano. "I believe a United Nations fashion resolution, perhaps from the security council, would have been much more effective. After all, [Gaddafi] is no Hitler."