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The Zanzibar's doorman was a total douchebag.NEW YORK - Finally feeling safe enough to discuss it, Brooklyn residents Josh Crabtree and Shane Day recounted their harrowing 20 minutes in "a world of lies and false hope" outside the red velvet rope of a Brooklyn nightclub last Friday night.

Wearing Affliction shirts and big smiles, Crabtree and Day spoke about their entrance into Club Zanzibar by the new "foreign-looking bouncer." They described long minutes held outside the club, the seconds punctuated by the screams of women inside the club, and the "total douche bag" of a bouncer.

"Letting us into the club is a good gesture, and no positive step should go unnoticed," Crabtree said. "We applaud the foreign-looking jackass for finally making the right decision regarding letting us into the club. But we want to be perfectly clear that they had no right and no justification to keep us outside in the first place."

[inset pos=left]"We applaud the foreign-looking jackass for finally making the right decision regarding letting us into the club."[/inset]Crabtree, Day and Crabtree's now-fiancee, Shelly DiPodesta, were held up by the bouncer after running across the street “for like, two minutes” around 11:30 Friday night. DiPodesta was allowed in by 11:40, but Crabtree and Day were only allowed in after mocking the bouncer, questioning his parentage and masculinity and finally bribing him, after minutes being kept outside in 62 degree weather and excuses made by the bouncer that Day said were based on "ridiculous lies."

Inside, finally, the club was awesome."Shelly, Josh and I experienced a taste of the bouncer's brutality. We was held in almost total isolation from the club and everything we love, stripped of our rights and freedom," Day said.

Worse, Crabtree said, "many times-too many times-we heard the yells of dudes and chicks in there partying, and there wasn’t nothing we could do to get in there and party with them."

"I don't know what they was doing in there," Day said. "But not being able to grind up on a chick, being completely helpless and unable to do anything to ease my suffering, is something I'll literally never forget."

Management of Club Zanzibar refused to discuss the club's door policy, nor the specific reason for Day and Crabtree being detained.

"When Shelly was about to walk in, we vowed to each other that none of us would be truly inside the club until all of us was inside the club," Crabtree said. "That moment finally, thankfully came about midnight."

Brian DiMaio is the kingpin of "The Daily Quarterly."