WASHINGTON - A new poll today by a group who has enough money to finance a poll announced that over 92% of "most Americans" who have "no healthcare coverage or minimal coverage" have "actively" lobbied their congressmen and senators demanding "greater... tax cuts."
Linda Jung of Morristown, Virginia, for example, makes less than $19,800 a year with a "high-deductible" healthcare plan from her employer that provides only minimal coverage once a $9,000 annual deductible is satisfied. When contacted by IRREVERENT, Mrs. Jung for some reason failed to mention tax cuts, but did express "daily terror" of being able to purchase food if just one of her three children would get sick. Clearly a statistical aberration, IRREVERENT contacted 92 more local residents within the same situation, none of whom, confusingly, mentioned "tax cuts, breaks or tax reform."
"That's highly unusual," said Bill "Whitey" Wittington, chief economist at the conservative "Me Too" Washington think-tank. "I've seen that poll by those guys, or group or something, whoever did that poll thing, and the data was highly convincing to me. I'm convinced therefore that you are merely 'fake news'ing this highly reputable poll by whoever those guys are, that clearly shows everyone and their uncle are demanding tax cuts as their number one concern."
"Almost nobody in this tax bracket pays taxes," noted Jim Jacobs, a senior fellow at the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Tax Policy Institute. "Certainly not wage earners here."
Ignoring all reporters looking for a comment, over lunch President Trump tweeted: "Finally, some truth! Voters want tax breaks period. Let's get it done!!"