WASHINGTON D.C. - In a unanimous decision, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that "cash and gifts" to U.S. Supreme Court justices are "completely lawful.. and furthermore, awesome."

"Well, so that happened," noted Professor Hugh Farnsworth, professor of legal ethics at Harvard University, throwing a book of ethics out his window.

The ruling is widely expected to pave the way for all sorts of gifts to legally flow into justice's coffers.  Chief Justice Roberts, speaking from a private jet coming back from a Swiss vacation, told IRREVERENT that "this should answer once and for all... the so-called 'ethical challenges' of this court."

Wall Street, awakened from its early afternoon power-nap, growled loudly before going on a buying spree throughout the mid-afternoon trading session, only to go on a mass sell-off before the close on rumors that the NIKKEI was cheating on him with the FTSE.