IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.
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WASHINGTON - With results in from across the nation, it's clear that America's biannual millionaire exchange completed without a hitch.
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SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA--Kia Motors announced today that it would recall 56,000 Souls due to faulty wiring that could cause fires.
“We regret that, due to a dishonorable manufacturing process, 56,000 Souls were released into consumer’s hands,” said Meow Chung Lee, Chief of Media Relations for the South Korean manufacturer at a hastily called and badly dubbed press conference. “We also would like to express our regret that, due to a misunderstanding regarding the name of the vehicle, all of the owners of the vehicles were ‘taken into the light.’ Please be assured that we have top marketing professionals working on the problem and expect to have it rectified in the next few days. Until then, for your sake, and the sake of your wives and children, don’t go near your car!” Lee then performed an obscure Asian ritual and vanished in a puff of smoke.
Read more: Kia Recalls 56,000 Souls, Causes Confusion In Netherworld
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GOOBERTON, N.C.--All along the eastern seaboard, residents are gearing up for the assault of Hurricane Earl. From Georgia to Maine, state governors are calling up elite National Guard recovery units made up of search and rescue slugs.
Originally imported from France the slugs underwent extensive training as part of Homeland Security's airport drug search program. Critics of the slugs' deployment have suggested that, despite intensive retraining for their new mission, the slugs will only be able to identify and rescue drug addicts. “As if that weren't enough,” said Slug's Rights Activist James Partridge, “they will most likely find the ocean's saltwater environment difficult to survive. It's just unconscionable what we're asking these beautiful and intelligent creatures to do.”
IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.
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IRREVERENT is a parody of a news magazine, and opinions, random thoughts, gestures, gesticulations, comments, bizarre rantings or anything anyone on the planet (or elsewhere) may possibly find objectionable, actionable, stupid, pointless, and/or misleadingly silly may or may not be shared by the management of IRREVERENT Publishing, LLC. Celebrity voices in the IRREVERENT Podcast are impersonated. People, products or services mentioned or depicted in IRREVERENT Magazine are referenced only for criticism or comment, and are not intended to imply an endorsement of IRREVERENT nor any other product or service unless explicitly stated otherwise.