WASHINGTON -- Secretary Clinton today confessed that her cell coverage "sucked... as bad as most Americans."
"Going overseas and all over America, I rely on my cell phone to work," said Secretary Clinton. "I can't tell you how many fucking times I have like one or NO bars on this piece of shit. I even had to call AT&T from the land-line in my office to complain!!"
The assembled press -- most of whom held up their own phones, also with zero bars -- were uniformly sympathetic during the listening session.
"Can you imagine," Clinton continued, "me sitting across from the President of Pakistan or something, he's on the verge of going nuclear, literally, and I need to call [President] Barack [Obama], and looking down and seeing no bars? Am I supposed to tell him to cool off while I wander around the streets of Islamabad trying to get a fucking signal?
"We've got spy satellites that can read a license plate, why don't we re-task these fuckers to carry a cell call or two, huh?"
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