ALASKA - The U.S. military was placed on high alert today following the launch of a U.F.O. at the North Pole.
Alaska residents were startled awake this morning by the deafening roar of anti-aircraft batteries taking aim at an unidentified flying object that originated somewhere around the North Pole. U.S. officials have so far confirmed that elements of the 477th Fighter Group at Elmendorf Air Force Base were scrambled early this morning and engaged the object. Following a series of well-executed manuevers, the object evaded the fighter jets after deploying what appeared to be "eight distinct, chaff countermeasure releases." Within minutes, the fighters lost contact with the U.F.O. and were recalled to base. The U.F.O.'s condition remains unknown.
The timing of the episode led at least one senior Pentagon official to speculate. "Every year this seems to happen at just about this same time," said the source on condition of anonymity. "Something must be causing this. We're all relieved, of course, that nothing seems to come of it later, but we're damn confused."