FUKUSHIMA - Following the near-meltdown of the Fukushima reactor, residents have reported a "giant lizard" creature in coastal waters.
In a bizarre story, almost too fantastic to be believed, over 500 eye-witnesses have so far reported sighting the "gigantic lizard monster" apparently walking through the coastal waters, emitting an "enormous, blood-curdling scream" that has thrown this country's already troubled population into a full-blown panic.
Appearing on the popular Japanese T.V. show "Do Anything For Money!", automotive engineer Hiro Satou recounted his terrifying encounter to a mesmerized audience that gained that show's highest ratings in its history. "I was spending my fifteen-minute lunch break looking for used aluminum cans down by the shoreline," said Hiro, translated into English. "I looked up and heard this enormous yelling noise! Luckily, I was wearing an adult diaper, because of the 9 hour train commute I take each day into Toyko for work, otherwise I would have made a mess in my trousers!"
Reports of the creature are being compiled by a hastily prepared website "joukei-daikaiju.jp," ("huge monster sighting") started by local entrepreneur Yamamoto Hamaguchi. "I started this site after I saw the creature myself, as I exercised near the shore the morning after the tsunami hit," said Hamaguchi through a translator. "So many others have seen it too that I wanted to make a place where we could all share our stories, and I could collect some money from GoogleAds."
Besides eyewitness descriptions, the site also features amateur photographs and even some video footage purported to be of the creature, although it's shocking similarity to the "Godzilla" monster of B-movie fame has more than a few people sceptical.
"I understand the critics who say, 'All you have done is put up website for people to post Godzilla photos using Photoshop,'" explained Hamaguchi. "All I can say to them is, yes, this creature look a LOT like Godzilla, this is not my fault! Come see for yourself and you believe personally too as we do!"
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