PINGPYONGYANG - Dear Leader Kim Jong-il gloriously announced today that he had beaten the capitalist dogs into submission and would “p0wn them like the n00bs they are.”“This is a glorious day for the Revolution!” exclaimed Dear Leader during his First Post to the people. “The war dogs of the west will understand that the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is not some backward, starving, collapsed state led by a crazy man! With the creation of the People's Socialist Networking Five-Year System we will take our rightful place as leaders of the working classes of the world. FU Chavez!”
Although the primary use of the new computer system will be to ensure the Dear Leader's wisdom is heard by downtrodden workers slaving away under corrupt capitalist regimes, official representatives of the Glorious People's Foreign Relations team will also use the PSNFYS to “flame the west until they end up on the archive server of history. The hot breath of nuclear fire will be as nothing compared to the destruction heaped upon their mindless tweeting.
Reaction to Dear Leader's announcement game from all corners of the People's Republic via the PSNFYS, although with nearly 11 Billion followers in the DPRK alone, Dear Leader will be burning the midnight plutonium to answer them all. With customary graciousness the government shared some of the comments with us.
“a/s/l?” asked lukkin4luv.
“U R GR8,” said SkinnyMiss of Faming Province.
“Dear Leader r0X, 13th Mountain Division Rulz!” said DMZLooie.
“Obama got p0wnd. What a noooooooob!” wrote Sumhunglo458.
“Dude, turn on State Radio right now, Awesome speech!” wrote dirdybertie3956
“OK at 1200hrs we hit the power grid, the armory, and the police station. BRB, sum1's at the door,”” wrote rajuncounterrevolutionary5
“Dude! No way! Sum1's at the door here too,” replied rajuncounterrevolutionary6.
All hail the Dear Leader.
via The People's Revolutionary News Service, North Korea