IRREVERENT News

ILLINOIS - In a hastily prepared press conference this morning, pharma giant WelFexor has agreed to purchase multinational conglomerate BuTrexline for nearly $19 billion USD in a move Wall Street considers "cryptic to bizarre."

"Nobody knows what BuTrexline actually, physically does," confessed Wall Street.  "I've read their annual reports going back three years and I can't find any tangible, meaningful hint about they actually produce, sell or trade."

"It reads like what Don Draper would spew out after going three rounds with Mike Tyson," the NASDAQ chipped in.

"Without head protection," the Street added, high-fiving the lesser exchange as they finished a cigarette outside before heading back in the hotel for the press conference.

Nobody else I've spoken with knows either, apparently not even the current chairman and CEO of WelFexor Bruce Campbell.  "We are a multnational holding concern with interests in a number of key high-value vertical markets," explained Campbell at the press conference.  "Our synergistic strategies combine the experience and potential of each of our 28,900 employees on five continents into a potent force to acquire not only market share but incredible efficiencies of scale in a growing number of diverse fields.  BuTrexline has a remarkably similar and synergistic business modality, one that fits perfectly with both our domestic and international market integration strategies."

"See, what the hell does that mean?" asked the Street, who then idly tossed his Marlboro on the sidewalk and walked back into the early morning trading session.

^{Photo Credit: Skyscraper, flickr/Takashi Hososhima. Press conference, flickr/Superjet Intl.}