THE NEIGHBORHOOD - Dr. Walter Palmer's Facebook gallery today confirmed what many had already feared: the world's most hated dentist has harvested yet another iconic feline, Daniel Tiger.
Missing from his neighborhood for nearly a week, friends had been fearing the worst, especially in light of Daniel's outspoken condemnation of the so-called "Dentist of Death"'s killing of Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe in early July. Daniel's outrage had grown over time, moving from social media condemnation to organized physical protest, culminating in the "Million Tiger March" last week in Washington D.C. Attended by prominent felines from across the globe, keynote speaker Mufasa, surrounded by fellow actors Simba and Scar, lent his legendary support to Daniel. During his speech Mufasa publicly called for the "Dentist of Death's immediate extradition to Zimbabwe" and subsequent "brutal prosecution for... crimes against our species."
Daniel's followers had grown increasingly radicalized themselves, sometimes taking direct action against Dr. Palmer, prompting the dentist to remain in hiding but post his fears to Facebook: "I fear for my life... at the paws of Daniel's murderous gang of hooligans!"
Although officially investigating any and all threats to Dr. Palmer, Minnesotan police spokesman Marvin Hamil has publicly stated they "would not be upset" by "some acts against this dopey doc... provided they were not extreme... especially after what that son of a bitch did to that Milwaukee lion!"
The two-year old Daniel Tiger would've celebrated his third birthday September 3rd. He is survived by unknown parents and possibly some siblings.