AFGHANISTAN - After doing several lines as "Marsellus Wallace" from the movie "Pulp Fiction" today as a joke, U.S. Ambassador Karl Eikenberry and Gen. Stanley McChrystal were dumbfounded and confused.
"In the fifth, your ass goes down, general. Say it," the President said.
General McChrystal only stared back blankly. "Sir? Are you okay?"
"Naw man, I'm pretty fu**ing far from okay," the President said, again as Marsellus Wallace, with a completely straight face and his best deep voice. "The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fu**ing with you. Fu** pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps," the President continued, straight faced, while those in the room became increasingly concerned.
"April fools," the President said in his normal voice and immediately broke out laughing. A single secret serviceman, Special Agent Dick Fuller, almost smiled.
Nobody else in the room, however, had the slightest idea what was going on. "Sir, you asked me for our situation report, and we worked all night to have it ready for this meeting," General McChrystal said, concerned.
"Are you feeling all right, Mr. President," Ambassador Eikenberry asked, but the President was still too busy laughing.
"You guys need to lighten up, man," the President said finally.
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