IRREVERENT News

WASHINGTON - Following Sec. Clinton's deal for Niger to repay U.S. loans, U.S. officials are now calling the agreement "suspicious."

President Obama has gotten personally involved in the now controversial Sunday deal in which Secretary of State Clinton wired $1 million to "a Nigerian official" in exchange for almost $80 million in "frozen" loan repayments. Speaking about the agreement yesterday, President Obama said that "although the United States is happy to forge stronger ties" with the African nation, and was "pleased" that the Nigerian government was eager to repay U.S. loans, the actual "Nigerian 'official' who met with Secretary Clinton... may not, in fact, be associated with the [Nigerian] government."

Some in the administration, however, were far more direct in their assessment of the situation. "I can't believe she fell for the oldest scam in the book," tweeted one senior government official anonymously from his Blackberry. "A Nigerian bank scam? Really? And now I have to fix this before we all look like idiots? I need this like a hole in my head."

The wired $1 million in U.S. funds, according to intelligence sources, has been "missing" since early Monday morning, shortly after the transfer was complete.  The "Nigerian government bank" where the funds were transferred, meanwhile, appears to have actually been a Cayman Islands account controlled by one "Abayomi Omotoso," an alias for a well-renown Internet scammer, according to the same intelligence sources.

If true, many in the Obama Administration may have to share the blame.  Under-Secretary for African Affairs George Ubuntu -- the official who originally brought the deal to Secretary Clinton -- "disappeared" early Tuesday morning, while three junior officials, who also participated in brokering the deal, have been subsequently fired on grounds of "gross incompetence," according to F.O.I.A. records.

Having already come to its own conclusion days ago, Wall Street hardly registered the potential screw-up at all.  Shrugging its shoulders, the Street rolled its eyes and said it was "shocked" in mock surprise, before going into a widespread buying spree across the financial services and real estate markets.  Stopping only briefly for a vodka-Red Bull, the Street shook off a few early week losses from Goldman-Sachs and quickly made it back with considerable interest from internet security services.