IRREVERENT News

CHICAGO - In a move that upper management and the shareholders are thrilled with, Argyle Business Systems has implemented a new money saving mandate that saves on payroll: the IT department has been ordered to disable the company’s time clock software, not letting employees submit their work hours for their paychecks.

“It’s worked far better than we thought it would,” Argyle CFO Blaine Brady said. “Everybody points the finger at somebody else in upper management, and we’ve been telling the employees for more than four months now that we’re looking into it.”

Payroll Supervisor Mitch Staten said that the employees who have complained the loudest and most often have received some of their pay, but that was inevitable. “What we do is pay a few people, just so they think the problem’s being worked on,” Staten said. “They’re satisfied, they’ve got some money in their pocket, and it buys us some more time. I can’t believe nobody else has ever thought of a plan or business model like this, in any form.”

Brady said there was originally no timetable set on the measure, since most of the executives thought they wouldn’t be able to pull it off for more than a couple weeks at most. “And now, we’re looking into extending this out indefinitely,” Brady said. “Or at least until I get back from my vacation in Barbados in October.”

CEO John Rogers said the company will show a profit for the fourth quarter of fiscal year 2011 for the first time since 2003.

Staten, who originally presented the idea to the board of directors in late April, said he was working on an article about the move to submit to the magazine put out annually by the payroll association he is a member of. “This could completely revolutionize the way business works,” Staten said. “The board promised me a nice bonus for this idea. I haven’t gotten it yet, but they said I ought to get it pretty soon. Fingers crossed!”

Brian DiMaio is the kingpin of "The Daily Quarterly."

Photo Credit: Flickr/miss_rogue