IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.

HOUSTON - A NASA engineer today doodled a solution for earth's ever-increasing space junk problem in the cafeteria.

Our artist's extremely poor conception of the plan, because we refused to pay for this kinda crap."Basically, we'd stick a laser cannon on top of the space shuttle," Dr. Warren Christopher explained, who is not related to former Secretary of State Warren Christopher. "We'd hook the control mechanism up to the internet, and charge people to shoot the space junk for us, like $5 an hour or something. They could shoot the stuff like it was a video game!" Christopher said, making shooting noises.  "Heck we could even make a profit from this!"

Interest in eliminating space junk is high these days at NASA, as the Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite (UARS) threatens most of the earth's surface when it reenters the atmosphere tomorrow, no doubt hitting this writer's house, because that's just how my luck goes. Interest in Dr. Christopher's idea, however, reached all the way to congress.

"This is a way to make some money by having all these Xbox jockeys out there do some good for a change," said Republican Mitch Michell (R-TN). "They can take an hour away from griefing twelve year olds to maintain the security of the earth, I think."

Although specifics for the proposed service remain murky, media attention has encouraged Christopher to keep at it. "I thought my boss would fire me for wasting time. He hated my suggestion for putting a huge laser on top of the 9/11 monument. Guess you never can tell what idea will get traction."

Photo Credit: NASA

IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.


Buy Me A Coffee

More Awesomeness

  • Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. +

    Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center. It's Read More
  • Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like +

    Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas Read More
  • Trump Announces Support for "Extraterrestrial Abductions" +

    Trump Announces Support for (ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and Read More
  • 1