METROPOLIS - Officials were stunned today when asteroid 2005 YU55 was directed away from the earth thanks to superhero Superguy.
"It is with great pleasure that I name today, November 8th 'Superguy Day,'" said mayor Cuthbert Layton in a late afternoon media event in front of the state building. "Without the heroic work of Superguy, and his ability to hold his breath a really, really long time, our planet surely would've been destroyed, or at least left as a lifeless ball hurling through the void of space."
As Superguy accepted the award, however, his arch-nemesis supervillian Kex Kuthor emerged from the crowd holding a rock fragment. "This is a piece of that asteroid, and it's from Superguy's home planet Blipton," Kuthor said to the world. "And as long as I hold this rock near him, he will be rendered powerless, due to some ridiculously advanced property of physics or maybe chemistry we have yet to understand! Like cold fusion!"
Visibly shaken and barely able to move anymore, Superguy collapsed on the dais, while mayor Layton and 30 police officers from the downtown metro division took Kex Kuthor into custody, seizing the rock fragment away from him and far away from Superguy.
"You've won this time!" said Kuthor as he was hauled away to jail. "But I'll be back, mark my words! And next time, I'll think my plan through so that I can't be thwarted so trivially!"
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(ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and