DALLAS - Having chewed up his existing mouth-shoe, today Rick Perry was fitted for a new one at Brack & Sons Fine Shoes.
His old shoe, a size 10 Allen Edmonds had been severely chewed up lately on the campaign trail as well as the debates. "Normally, [Governor Perry]'s shoes can last ten or eleven months stuck in his mouth," said Jim Fingle, Perry's campaign manager. "This one looks like a pit bull's been gnawing it for a year, and it's only been a week."
"We're going to find a shoe for the governor that meets his unique situation," said shoe salesman Ed Drucker, an employee at Brack & Sons. "One that is particularly well built, and one that matches the governor's stature and standing in the community. Also one that is resistant to being soaked in saliva."
Drucker fit the governor's mouth earlier today for a replacement size 10 Allen Edmonds "Bradley." Because the governor was only buying one shoe, the price was cut in half to $275.
"This isn't the first time we've fit politicians like this," confessed store manager Bradley Siskin. "Both John McCain and Herman Cain are loyal customers of ours, as is Dan Quayle, of course. We don't favor any party, however, for obvious reasons. Just last year we were honored when Vice President Biden came in for a mouth fitting."
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