IRREVERENT News

WASHINGTON - Today President Trump signed the $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill, which promised Americans "10% off their stay" at "select Trump hotels worldwide," among other provisions.

"This is a really, really great deal," Trump said at the signing ceremony.  "I mean 10% off is nothing, nothing to sneeze at, considering that many, many folks don't have that much money these days" Trump added.  "And I'm happy to do it.  Rather the Trump Foundation is happy, extremely happy to do it.  I don't get any part of that either, just doing my part."

The bill also contains other provisions, including direct payments to struggling families, and "other very, very important stuff" according to the President.

"It's 10% of the entire bill," Trump added.  "I mean, say you get an in-room massage or something else at Mar-a-Lago, no, not Mar-a-Lago per se, that's a members only kinda thing, but say any of the many, convenient Trump Hotels all over this great land.  It's 10% off that too."

The discount, the President pointed out, was available to "all Trump hotel guests" who book their stays "between now and July 1st," and was "the single greatest economic relief deal ever offered in history," the President stated.

Industry experts were mixed, however.  "He said that huh?" said Jeff Champion, the quarantined travel and leisure writer for the Post.  "Yeah, sounds like something he'd say."

"I think it's a great deal," said Jenny Jenkins, FOX's senior travel reporter.  "You can't just get 10% off across the board, and I mean it's unheard of.  If people could travel, and visit Trump's hotels, then this would be fabulous and a real kick-start to the U.S. economy."