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Written by Cynthia Stone, Scott Meadow

LOS ANGELES – This afternoon police officer Tia Blanch was arrested by police for “impersonating a police officer” while trick-or-treating with her children.  “We were responding to various complaints, some of which were, frankly, hard to believe,” explained police sergeant Bill Williams.  “We ended up arresting quite a few colorful characters before spotting this person dressed up like an officer,” explained Williams.  “It’s one thing if you want to go out and walk around looking like a mummy, a vampire, or Donald Trump – all of whom we’d arrested earlier.  But it’s another thing entirely if you stroll around in a police uniform, especially with your impressionable young children, while they go begging for food and such.  I don’t know what she was thinking.” 

When IRREVERENT told officer Williams that Tia Blanch was, in fact, an actual police officer and part of L.A.P.D., Williams doubled-down.  “Well that’s for the court to decide,” he added.

Early this evening, municipal judge Harry Potash dismissed the case after a shared round of hearty laughter in the courtroom.   “Some of our on-duty police officers, it seems, should ease-up on the overtime,” Potash said.

Outside the courtroom a group of conservative activists had already gathered with signs proclaiming, “We Back The Badge,” but dispersed soon after hearing the case details and becoming too confused to protest.

Wall Street, having just finished a particularly heroic Chef Nozomu tasting menu at Noz, leaned back and took a puff from its cigar, blowing smoke over the NASDAQ sitting at the next table, trying to have an intimate dinner experience with the KOSDAQ.