IRREVERENT Magazine - Features

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Written by John Sammon

Category: Special Features

American television stinks. They give out awards (Emmys) for producing crap. The best thing that ever happened was the writer's strike, which partially shut down the foul industry. If only we could shut it all down.

Shows with lawyers and doctors and women who try to act and talk tough. Shows that because they lack imagination try to shock you with tepid hinted at sexual innuendo.

It's sh..'t.

We don't need writers anyway.

Let's go all the way. I've got an idea for a TV show so vulgar, so vile, so tasteless, it will be a smash hit. Once again. Bring back the Little Rascals. In prime time.

In case you haven't heard of them, the Little Rascals were a bunch of child actors in comedies in the 1930s. The show, under the guise of cute comedy, featured every type of disgusting perversion. It was X rated and at the time, nobody knew it. It was just as bad as anything you see on TV today. But it had going for it both pedophilia and butt fetishism.

I'm not kidding.

Alfalfa is always hitting on Darla (Hood). The beautiful little brunette coquette. It's an on-again off-again case of the hots. At various times, Darla is interested in studious educated Waldo, but also the neighborhood bully Butch.

She can't make up her mind whether she's into muscle (Alfalfa) or poetry (Waldo). She's into all of it. She's a nymphomaniac. She's having it with all of them.

This goes beyond a ménage a trois. This is a five-a-trios.

Read more: Bring Back the Butts

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Written by Roberta Hart

Category: Special Features

Tupac's song "Changes" is one of 9 entries on the MySpace page for Pope Benedict XVI's album "Alma Mater: Music From The Vatican." (Check it out here.)

Father Giulio Neroni, artistic director of church publisher St. Paul's Multimedia, helmed the list, CNN reports. He also compiled the songs for the Pope Benedict XVI's featured Alma Mater album..

Some might question the Vatican's use of a song from such a controversial artist. The jailed rapper ultimately succumbed to violence when he was fatally shot in Las Vegas in 1996.

Please forgive the title of this article, but know that it is simply my idea of what the late Tupac Shakur whould have said if he knew this was happening. That, my friends is the ONLY thing that I will apologize for in this entry. Frankly, I don't even know where to begin with this one. I will try to control my stream of consciousness and profanity to make a coherent and well reasoned post. I said TRY. I am not making any promises.

Read more: Nigga WHAT???