IRREVERENT Magazine - Features
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- Written by John Sammon
- Category: Special Features
Racists believe that God is a white man who looks like John Wayne.
But is he?
Is God white? In all the art over the centuries, including his representation on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, he is portrayed as white, in the case of Michelangelo's masterpiece, a grey-bearded, fierce-looking giant floating on a cloud.
If God is truly a Caucasian, then racists and Southern Confederate fundamentalist Christians can take delusional heart thinking that they were created in God's image, and thus are better than people of color. If you look like God and somebody else doesn't, you must be better. Feeling better than someone else is important to a racist. Very important.
But is God white?
- Details
- Written by Roberta Hart
- Category: Special Features
Why don’t people ever just say what they mean? We teach our children not to lie, but what we are actually saying is, “just lie when it is a NICE lie.” If we are going to be honest, then just do it already.
I was in an elevator the other day, and a pompous ass backed up like he didn’t see me when he got on the freakin' thing in the first place, and stepped on my foot. He didn’t even bother to turn around when he mumbled a half hearted, disingenuous, “uh, sorry”. Now sir, if you are reading this, I would have been perfectly fine if you had just said what you thought, which was, “how dare you insignificant cretin be standing in the way of where I need to stand, after all, I am me, Dr. Whatever, and I have more value than you.” You see? Then I could have responded with, “Your cologne is gagging me, please move forward.”
- Details
- Written by Roberta Hart
- Category: Special Features
'Tis the season for detecting epilepsy in your family members. It's "twinkle light" time, folks! I watched my next door neighbor hang his twinkly lights that are loosely designed to resemble icicles. This man should consider a career in the circus. He must have missed this year's ladder safety training. I don't know if all of you realize this, but there ARE instructions on your ladder. When they tell you that this ladder is to be placed on a level surface and you are NOT to step above the yellow part, they mean it.
When did twinkle lights become more important to us than the safety and well being of our family members? I see this every year, wives standing on the ground or in the doorway pointing out that the lights are sagging or not EXACTLY lining the gutter. Come on guys, get over that fear of falling 4 stories to your death, and hang the damn lights so that the whole neighborhood can be in awe of how perfectly straight they are!
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IRREVERENT is a parody of a news magazine, and opinions, random thoughts, gestures, gesticulations, comments, bizarre rantings or anything anyone on the planet (or elsewhere) may possibly find objectionable, actionable, stupid, pointless, and/or misleadingly silly may or may not be shared by the management of IRREVERENT Publishing, LLC. Celebrity voices in the IRREVERENT Podcast are impersonated. People, products or services mentioned or depicted in IRREVERENT Magazine are referenced only for criticism or comment, and are not intended to imply an endorsement of IRREVERENT nor any other product or service unless explicitly stated otherwise.