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A buddy of mine recently sent me a link to a Fox News video clip.  This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary: he and I routinely engage in political email debates over many public policy matters, such as the energy crisis, the wars, global warming, etc.  Regardless of the topic, these emails follow a predictable format: “Hey, Scott,” he’ll write, “look what you silly liberals are doing all wrong now, you nutbags!”  “Oh yeah,” I'll write back, “well look at what you wingnuts have to offer, let me just grab my brown shirt and start burning books!”  And so they go.  Sometimes he drags his mother into it when he’s really desperate.

This time, however, honestly because I really needed to write something for IRREVERENT, I decided to take time to revise and extend my remarks for the greater public, beyond those guys in the N.S.A. who steal my emails.

The link was to a video that showed California Democrat Maxine Waters, who represents California’s 35th Congressional district, threatening the big oil executives testifying before her.  Waters, who’s been in the House since 1991, wasn’t threatening the well grazed chief executives with bodily violence. She knew better than that.  Waters would be lucky to hold up these guys’ dinner plates, let alone cause any major damage to their behemoth frames.  Instead she was threatening to nationalize the oil industry itself in the United States, apparently (there was no context for the clip) in response to her perceived unwillingness of the industry to offer the American public (in California’s 35th district that is) gas-price relief. 

There's no shortage of topics to write about after a few month hiatus from this juggernaut of whimsy.  There's been a tragic shooting at Virginia Tech., a Commander-in-Chief less popular than the weakest Fox reality series, and a set of foreign occupations that leave us longing for a more Vietnam-like imbroglio.  Any one of these would be worthy of comedic polish, and indeed were until I recently ordered a new fan for my office.  Now normally you may not think this would rank up there with military occupations and psycho-shooters, but it does.  In fact, this single stupid event revealed a way to save billions of dollars, possibly end our dependence on foreign oil and stall global warming.

Overblown?  Overly dramatic?  Let me explain.

Given the current state of global political turmoil, you may think that what the world really needs is a hero to save us from our plight.  Well, as one plucky would-be hero named James Van Iveren can attest – behind bars – it turns out that the world is doing peachy on its own.  In fact, it’s watching porn in what would normally be a sanctuary, it’s own home.  That is until Van Iveren bursts in with a sword to “rescue” a screaming woman – from the porn video – that he believed was being raped in the apartment above his and his mother’s.  Feel free to zoom off to put in Pulp Fiction and listen to Chad Kroeger’s Hero (from the Spiderman theme) any time here.  It’s okay, I’ll wait.

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