IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.

WASHINGTON - Three White House staffers who locked the President in the Oval Office as "a practical joke" were fired today.

The President was locked in the Oval Office for approximately 90 seconds today."The Secret Service takes a very dim view of locking the Commander In Chief inside his office," said White House spokesman Arnold Benedict. "They automatically assumed this was part of a terrorist conspiracy and almost shot all three before breaking down the door. Ever since the wookiee incident, they've been understandably touchy."

The staffers, whose names are being withheld, were all fired today in accordance with the official White House "until you do something stupid" employment policy, increasing the nation's unemployment figures from 15.8 million (10.2%) to 15,800,003.

In a statement read to the press, the staffers explained that the "whole thing was just a joke... that was taken too far," and that they "regretted the whole thing deeply." The staffers had each served on the President's election staff and thought "he would find it funny.. but we were wrong." The staffers, who were rushed to an undisclosed hospital following the incident for undisclosed injuries, have refused to talk to the press themselves.

Attending a Sunday dinner for the National Coalition of Disabled Textile Workers, the President tweeted his thoughts. "u nevr lok the cmdr in chf in the ovl ofice. its nt funy!"

IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.

Support IRREVERENT

Buy Me A Coffee

More Awesomeness

  • Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. +

    Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center. It's Read More
  • Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like +

    Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas Read More
  • Trump Announces Support for "Extraterrestrial Abductions" +

    Trump Announces Support for (ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and Read More
  • 1