IRREVERENT News

WASHINGTON - Humorists drinking at "Darcy's Pub" last night bitterly complained about the June resignation of Rep. Anthony Weiner.

"You don't get many opportunties like that," said Jack Cheese, political humorist for an online magazine. "A representative named Weiner who gets caught sexting pictures of his weiner? Nobody'd read it if you made that up!"

"If he just could've hung in there," said Emily Bang, humorist for another zine, while everyone chortled at the word "hung," "for another twenty or thirty more solid dick jokes even, then we could've moved on."

"Yeah, he gipped us out of a good four or five weeks on the dick joke gravy train," added Blake Black, Cheese' co-worker. "What do we got now? You can only make fun of Boehner's name so much, let's face it, so to speak. Mining gags out of inflated election year promises? BORING!"

"It was like being back in school again," said Cheese, reflecting on his days at Harvard's National Lampoon. "A good dick joke is like a fine wine, it costs a lot and everyone wants it. See, that's a terrible bit! I'm already getting out of practice!"

Others in the industry, however, took a longer, philosophic view. "That's the way the erection crumbles," noted Tim Hansen, a staff writer for a late-night comedian. "The news cycle is a ravenous, sleepless beast with an insatiable appetite. One week it's a satellite crash, the next a sex-murder trial. We deal with this all the time. Some story you can mine for a good, solid dick joke one night, leaves you hanging the next day. Weiner was great for a week or two, but there's only a few people who can remain the butt of jokes for years. Not everyone can be a Michael Jackson, George W. Bush, or Bill Clinton. That's how I eat."