WASHINGTON - In the aftermath of Monday's final presidential debate, uncommitted American voters remained sharply divided between those merely bored with the seemingly endless marketing of each political candidate and those longing for "an iron fisted fascist leader to relieve them of the burden of free elections" once and for all.
"It's a fairly typical effect we see this late in an election cycle," said Professor Bonnie Simpson, IRREVERENT's senior political science advisor and author of Why Vote for Losers? Practical Politics for the Uncommitted. "With the record breaking levels of money in this election, however, we're seeing the effect much more, well, effectively."
Today's IRREVERENT/Senior-Slut (65 yrs +) Magazine poll confirmed the real-time results from Monday's debate: a 49/49% split, with 2% too busy building doomsday shelters/stockpiling Dinty Moore stew for the upcoming 2012 apocalypse to voice an opinion either way.
"Luckily, the election is only 10 days away, so we will finally be finished watching commercials approved by anybody that ridiculously exaggerate their opponents already exaggerated positions," said Milton Simon, author of the online "EItherWay" blog, the "voice of the uncommitted." "Election cycles these days are just marketing tours for the fringes of the politically active that have all but abandoned the idea of governing. Choosing the lesser of two evils may be practical in some sense but only perpetuates a system that desperately needs real reform."
Wall Street today, realizing it doesn't matter which candidate wins, spent a leisurely Friday morning session cherry picking stocks with loose political ties, while broadly punishing financial stocks because "it felt like it." Taking a mid-morning smoke break with the NASDAQ, the two looked forward to several 2013 IPOs, discussed the best hidden tax havens left in Switzerland, and resolved to check out that new Kenyan joint just off Lex with their girlfriends. The pair then chugged a Red Bull and vodka and hit the late morning trading session with a vengeance.
Photo Credit: iStockPhoto.com
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